Relicuum
by Morghan
Summary: Set mostly post-series. These are just some stories about Lena, about her thoughts, her memories, her family and those around who mean something to her. Call it "deleted scenes". 'Cause everyone who has read "Requiem" agrees on the fact, that the book seems unfinished. It will be updated. Contains spoilers.
1. After

**I do not own Delirium. I just admire and imagine what could have happened.**

* * *

Set mostly post-series. These are just some stories about Lena, about her thoughts, her memories, her family and those around who mean something to her. Call it "deleted scenes". 'Cause everyone who has read "Requiem" agrees on the fact, that the book seems unfinished.

It will be updated.

May contain spoilers.

***Relicuum - lat. future, remainder**

And yes, since we don't know much (in fact, particularly anything) about Lena's future, that's how I see it, so don't judge me. And I see her with _Julian_.

* * *

1. After

_When I look back, I see blood. _

_The past bathes in it. _

_But for freedom we'll dive into it and swim. _

We took over Portland - and it was our first victory. But many of us considered it to be the biggest and the last one.

This wasn't true.

Surprisingly, many people joined us after the triumphant night on which the walls were taken down.

At first it was just children, frightened little children who lived in small dark dusty apartments who were told awful tales about the disease from the very moment of their birth. And yet they were even stronger than some of the Invalids.

Because they were young. Because love was still there for them. And it was the force that kept them moving. They were the ones to shake the world and bring the truth to the crowds. The ones to convince.

Portland wasn't destroyed. Well, obviously, the four houses and those which surround them (including Fred Hargrove's house) were blown to bits. But everything else remained just as before.

What was weird to me is that the cureds kept doing what they were used to. The next morning they came out of the houses ignoring the mess on the streets, the fact that the regulators vanished, that the officials were dead. (The sympathizers and a couple of the Invalids - Tack, Julian - took the control of the city). People went simply to their work and soon cleaners came to restore the order. The streets were tidied up. Well, it took longer to clear the land of the buildings' chunks, of the wall remains.

But the city was restored and renewed. And there was that feeling in the air, like everything is changed and healed and beautiful. Or will be. Now I understand – it is what hope feels like. And the cureds were slowly relaxing and - against all odds - becoming less zombie-like. The iron grip of fear, lies and non-stop control had loosened (and I still believe that it worked even better than the procedure).

The Invalids settled in the city. It was bliss - being able to shower again, to switch on the fan, to prepare coffee. And we were truly enjoying this.

In less than two weeks people - cureds - started joining us. They longed for a change, for a fight, for riot, for love. After all those years they could finally give in to their instincts. They could say what they wanted, without turning back in fear. They could hug their kids. And I believe - I know - there is nothing in the world, no knives to cut out, no cures to suppress, no force to banish the mother's love for her child. And I understand now why the cure didn't work eventually.

Luckily, the incident in Portland was being unknown - or ignored - for quite a long time. Of course, not everyone joined us. But then we had a whole city in our possession, thousands of people, armed, fed, and hopeful.

The fairytale didn't last long. Soon the government troops emerged into the town. And the bloodbath began.

We were taken aback, that's for sure. I don't know what had saved us - clever strategies or the strong will to live and love.

The second victory overwhelmed us. And we began preparing for war.

Now when I look back, I am surprised, that almost everyone I knew made it out alive. It's not that we were avoiding the battles - we were in the damn center of them.

It took years. Years of campaigns, unions, plans and riots. We were trying to make people believe us. And I know that Julian played the key part - the victim, miraculously saved - once the face of the DFA, he became the face of the rebellion.

I can still smell blood and burning. It is haunting me. My dreams are filled with red liquid. And sometimes even Julian's arms softly embracing me can't chase it away.

It took years. Years filled with explosions and smoke. We were outnumbered, weak, disorganized, and young.

But for a strange reason we won.

_Now I know why - love was on our side. _

Three years have passed since then. Since the borders have been opened again. Since our country, choking on the smoke and coughing under layer of ash, has been returned to free people again. Since love has been legal again.

I still don't know, whether it was right. It may sound weird and insane; after all we've been through for it. But that's how I feel. Maybe no one is sane anymore. Anyway, that's why Tack (who is the President now) agreed on building whole towns where people, who still believe in the cure, can live. They have the evaluation and pairing system. You can say that it doesn't make sense, but it does. It makes a huge difference. Now people are free to choose. And even their children are offered a choice.

It's been three years, and my country is slowly regaining its cleanliness and beauty. And I'm looking forward to better days.

Julian was offered the presidency of the USA. But he turned it down. And he stayed with me. He says, that there's only one thing he can belong to - the country or the woman he loves.

So we returned to Portland instead. Here I live with my family - people, who mean everything to me - Julian, Grace, Hana, my mother, Coral and Alex. Hunter and Bram visit us occasionally. They are helping Tack.

_The life has never been happier. _

* * *

P.S. By the way, please don't be picky - I'm Russian, I have spoken Russian for my whole life and I only study English at school (apart from reading books :D). So, that's it. I'm not quite sure, what will be the next story about. But if you have any thoughts - you're welcome. :)


	2. Julian

2. Julian

* * *

**So, that's why Lena could have chosen Julian.**

**I do not own ****_Delirium_****.**

* * *

Moonlight leeks through the thin curtains. Julian is breathing quietly beside me. His skin is milky in the light. I'm not fully awake and I feel a sudden urge to grab his hand and lace my fingers with his and never let go. But then I realize that I might wake him up. That I was only dreaming, and Julian is safe and I'm safe and we're together, inseparable.

But in the sleep I was in the tunnels again.

I leave the bed and stand alone near the window recalling these days...

* * *

"_Julian_", I call out in whisper. He might be already asleep. But I can't force myself to close my eyes. Darkness is wrapping around me and I can't breathe.

"Lena". There's something about the way he says my name that sends shivers down my spine. It's very different from how Alex used to call me. It then sounded too loud and too enthusiastic. He pronounced it proudly, as to claim me his. Julian says it quietly, unsurely. He says it gently and tentatively, as though I may disappear and he will be left alone in the dark. He isn't used to it. He whispers it, listening carefully to the sound. And it overwhelms me.

"I never got the chance to ask", I mutter. I've already changed my mind but I can't just stop talking. So I go on. "Why?"

"_Why_?" he asks. I can see him rising to his elbows, eyes slightly glimmering in the dark. "What do you mean?"

"When I told you that I was… an Invalid", I trip over the word, but I carry on, hurrying, afraid that he may stop me. "You didn't… you didn't care".

"I did".

I freeze.

"In fact", he speaks up, "I was scared and angry and I felt deceived. But I no longer am".

I exhale. "Why?"

"See, _you can't be afraid all the time_". He says it quietly, half-asking me. "And maybe… maybe I never truly believed in it. In deliria. There. I said it".

And, following the impulse, I grab his hand. He shifts and removes it.

"Still, I… I was raised this way, I can't-", he sounds guilty, as if he was apologizing for not accepting my hand. "It's too odd. Insane. Scary. Wrong".

Then I see him reaching for my hair in the dark. I don't move and let him caress it softly.

"But it should have been right", his voice is barely audible; I might be as well imagining it. But he said it.

* * *

I close the curtains. The room darkens.

I no longer can force myself to go underground. I don't use the restored metro. But sometimes I visit a cave near the ocean. It's open and doesn't make me claustrophobic, but the air feels just like in the tunnels. And, in an odd way, I like it. It reminds me of how I started loving Julian.

_"I need him to know that I came for him. I need him to know that somehow, at some point in the tunnels, I began to love him"._

I shiver at the thought. I try to forget this day. I thought, I would never save him from this room. I thought, I would be the witness of how a father condemned his own son to death. But it turned out alright. And, something happened then, that united us. And only this memory made me whisper "Julian" instead of "Alex" on the day of our victory.

* * *

_"So what now?" I ask Alex. The light is too bright; the day feels as though it's merging into dream._

_"Do you love me?" Alex asks._

I fall silent. The world seems spinning twice as fast as it should. I think of Alex, of how nice he was to me in Portland. How he sacrificed himself. But I can't remember. Everything I see is a cold fierce look in his eyes and hatred with which he bet Julian; wry smiles; and his face without a trace of emotion when he lied about not loving me. If he can hurt like this, what if I can never trust him? Who knows what secrets he can keep?

And then I think of Julian. His shy lovely smile, his kind words. He never hurt me. He never judged me, although, he could. He understood perfectly that I wasn't over Alex, yet he stayed with me when I needed him most. He isn't spoiled by freedom. He only starts discovering it.

And that's when I understand: you may love someone, who saved you, but_ the one __**you**__ saved_ you'll love more.

And immediately I feel guilty for thinking that I loved Julian less. For being awful to him. For testing his kindness. I now see how good he is.

"Lena?" Alex repeats in frustration.

I'm dizzy. I can't handle my emotions.

"Yes". I say. His face lights up. "Yes, I love you, Julian".

Three things happen at a time.

People emerge into the streets. They run, they shout. They head toward the wall. They are taking it down.

Alex cries out, "What?"

And I hear footsteps behind me and a soft voice says, "Lena".

I turn around. Julian. He is alive, he is fine. I can see a few cuts, and his hair is partly covered with blood. But he is fine. And he is beautiful.

I want to run to him, but I'm not finished. I turn to Alex. He doesn't seem angry. He understands. For the first time Alex decides to face it. He has changed. I have, too. Alex reaches for me and I give him a hug.

"I never stopped loving you", I say. "But not _that_ way". Alex smiles and nods, "I know".

That's when he grabs my hand and we both go toward Julian. I hug him and whisper, "I love you". And I'll never hesitate to tell him this again.

* * *

The dawn is breaking through the leaves. Julian shifts under the covers and opens his eyes. Blue, as a sunlit sea. And I'm happy all over again that I chose him. Because you need someone in your life, who will not make it fast-moving or messy or active, but who will make you happy and shine for you when the sun is gone.


	3. Annabel

3. Annabel.

**A note on Lena's daughter. And maybe, maybe she'll meet someone familiar when she last expects it...**

* * *

"Catch up, or let me win another time!" Her hair is golden brown in the gentle soft light of the dusk. My daughter.

* * *

The world will never be the same, once you become a mother. That's when you start caring only about your child. Thinking from the point of making her happy. Safe. Successful. _Strong_. That's when everything else steps aside and becomes blurred, leaving only your family in focus.

Julian. Grace. _Hana_. They are my family. But one person that I worry about the most (maybe just a little more, than about Julian) is _Annabel_. My little daughter.

However, she is not that little. Today she turns sixteen. Annabel is growing up, and no matter how much I want her to remain childish and small, I feel incredibly proud. Proud of the young woman that my baby became.

She's got Julian's eyes. Blue, as the sunlit sea. Dreamy, as the sky. Piercing and deep.

She is rather tall. She is skinny. Graceful and subtle. Not at all like me.

She is beautiful.

She resembles Julian a lot. They've got so much in common. But I'm never jealous. I'm happy. Now I have even more of the man I love.

But still, she has my smile. She loves running. She is brave. She has always been a tomboy - she'd rather play football with Jenny and boys next door than spend time dying of boredom with other girls. She is very kind. And she loves her family.

Sometimes I think, however, that she is not like me. She is much more like Annabel - my mother.

* * *

"No way!" I laugh and sprint in her direction. She is running effortlessly, almost flying. It won't be easy to overtake her.

"_Lena_!"

On my left I spot a golden flash and the next second Hana joins me, a smile shining on her face. She is beautiful as before.

We run joyfully together. It's not a competition now, the goal is to arrive home at the same time.

We slam our hands at the front door of my house, laughing and shouting "Halena!". Annabel, however, has told us several times that we should include her name too. We didn't. It's just mine and Hana's thing.

Julian opens the door for us.

"You could have just knocked politely", he's smiling. Julian hugs Hana and Annabel and gives me a gentle kiss.

"That's not what you should expect from an Invalid and her daughter", I stick my tongue out to him.

Twenty years have passed but we still joke around about it. It doesn't hurt now, when everything's over.

"Well, I guess I could expect that from Hana", he parries, still smiling.

* * *

The house is in decorations. Colorful ribbons and fresh flowers. Balloons pop out from nowhere, some of them snap and cause Hana to start and let out short shrieks. She's terrified of balloons.

Annabel hops around the dining room babbling joyfully on the phone. Julian had gone somewhere to fetch the remaining invitations for today's party.

* * *

I take a minute to remember my life after Annabel's birth. It was messy and new and scary at first, but became a literal nightmare ever since she learned how to walk. We even lost her for longer than two days when she was three years old. Turned out she was camping in the woods. I remember I went insane with worry. No doubt she was giving us a hard time, not only as a child. Once in school she got suspended for throwing a banana fight in the middle of a classroom. And a few years after it Julian had to come over to settle the things with a couple of parents whose children Annabel had forced into making a blood pact. Well, she is a hell of a child.

* * *

Closer to night guests start to gather. There is a couple of chatty girls from Annabel's class, who brought her enormous flower bouquets. Also some boys who throw adoring glances in her direction. And of course, her three absolute best friends: Elsa, a young painter, gentle and reasonable, who usually settles Annabel's crazy mood swings during which she can equally badly want to fly to the moon and feed Gracie's baby boy to ducks in the pond; James, with whom she hanged out since she was able to form her thoughts into words; and Celesta... Maybe I'll tell you about her later.

* * *

Annabel doesn't show up when all the guest have already come, so I leave to look for her. I find my daughter outside the house in the shadow of an old maple. First I thought she was alone, but then I spot him. Hair as a crown of autumn leaves. No wonder I didn't see him between the tree's branches.

The sight of him snatches my breath away. Alex left about a year before Annabel was born, and never showed up. I am startled, but then the second realization dawns on me.

That's not Alex.

That's a younger version of him. An absolute copy. But that's not Alex. That's his son.

I watch curiously how Annabel and the boy talk in low voices. I see them embrace each other and kiss tenderly. When the boy disappears in twilight, I approach my daughter. She is smiling. The deliria got her, just as it got me.

"His name is Lenny, you know" she tells me. "He never forgot".

I'm overwhelmed. Alex. She means Alex.

He never forgot me.

And... Well, maybe it's too soon to say, but maybe...

Maybe if not me then my daughter will get to have the name Sheathes.

* * *

**I know I haven't updated for years and I have no excuse (school... maybe just school). But I am still looking forward to finishing this collection of one-shots. Next chapter is about Raven and contains spoilers for short story "Raven".**


End file.
